Your Harmatia is Showing (25 pts)

Please don't steal this idea.I want to write it someday and maybe publish once I figure it all out.

My story is about a girl in a Lord of the Rings type fantastical world. She lives in a small town in which she is considered both the toughest and most beautiful girl around. A tragically handsome dark lord takes over and threatens to kill all, until he sets his sight on her. She realizes there are only two ways to save her people. She must make him believe she will marry him, but truly she will kill him. This means she must be around him at all times. He is aware of her plot, and tries to seduce her into marriage. But in the end, there is a showdown between them and she wins.

The Harmatia, or major mistake, in this story is the dark lord is somehow tipped off to her plot. She is supposed to get in good with him, but then when she has a chance she is to kill him. I will somehow incorporate some way for him to learn of her about her plan; whether it’s through the village people, maybe he overhears her himself. But somehow he is alerted and it throws the story in a direction that seems unsolvable.

The perpeteia, or turning point, will happen when he is trying to seduce her so that she does not try to kill him. He doesn’t want to kill her people; no that would be too easy, he wants her to marry him, and together they will watch her people suffer through life. The turning point is when she realizes he would do anything just to cause people pain. She was starting to fall for his trap, because she thought he genuinely cared enough to save her people, but it was really to watch more people suffer. She realizes she has no choice but to kill him, that there is no other option; her marriage to him won’t solve anything.

The anagorisis, or major discovery, is when she realizes his remaining good quality too is a sham. He is really a monstrous, foul creature. This is the final straw, he comes after her in this beastly form which then creates the final showdown. 

Characters All Around Us (50 pts)

 Before I begin this script, I want to preface that this did not truly happen, but the "I'm gonna keep him because he's good at sex", the "once there is alcohol in the system is becomes rape" and "it's always the guy's fault" are actually all taken from someone I encounter. These are not things I agree with.

[M, an extremely opinionated trickster, walks out into the living room of her small house after being prompted by some knocking to open the door. On the other side stands her equally as lascivious friends, A and E. They are ready for a night out on the town. They are ready to seduce a stranger.]

A: Hey bitch, how was your day?

M: Terrible, I haven’t slept with anyone in almost two nights and I’m dying here!

E: Whoa, getting behind on us are you?

A: No, I have to tell you something…

[She sits down on the couch with her knees to her chest, even though she is wearing a mini dress and you can clearly see things you should not normally see]

A: I met this guy named Jared, and we talked for about an hour at a party before we went upstairs had sex. He’s such a sweet guy, and so great in bed, but he’s not really my type. Oh man, but the sex. I tell you what, I’m probably going to keep him just for the sake that… Well I’m a whore and can’t wait around for a boyfriend. I mean, why waste my talent on waiting for “the right guy” I mean come on!

M: No, seriously I get what you mean! So where do we want to go tonight?

E: Anywhere, let’s just find some sexy guys and see where things go!

[The girls check themselves in the mirror to make sure they look slutty enough, pregame the drinking a bit with some tequila shots, and leave. As they are walking towards downtown, they see a group of guys walking the opposite direction. They look at each other and smile deviously. As the men draw closer, M “drops” her purse and seductively bends over right as the closest one is within reaching distance. He can’t help but stop and stare. Slowly, she rises from the ground and smiles at her new unsuspecting victim.]

Guy: Um, sorry, I didn’t know if you would need help or not

M: No no, it’s really ok. Just dropped my purse is all.

Guy: Uh… right [he swallows back a lump in his throat] well, sorry. [He starts again, hoping to quickly rejoin his friends, how are both laughing at him and checking out the girls]

A: Hey wait!

M: You should come party with us!

E: Yea, it will be really fun!

[The guy looks at his friends, but without much thought decides to take the invitation. The others try to join]

M: No, not you! Just him!

[The others, confused, roll their eyes and continue on their way. The guy stands watching after them, confused as why he alone was invited. The girls prompt him to continue on with them. M grabs his arm and leads him into the direction that they are going.]

M: So whats your name, handsome?

Guy: Uh, Matt, my name’s Matt [He tries to relax a little so that he doesn’t seem awkward]

M: Well, Matt, we’re going to walk around a bit and see what kind of trouble we can cause. Later… well who knows what could happen

[She winks at him, as he chokes back another lump. She wraps his arm around her waste in such a way that his hand was rested right at her hump. He begins to sweat, but tries to keep it cool. He obviously doesn’t want to ruin this chance. They spend the time walking around, E and A both eventually find themselves victims too. All this time, M is getting closer and closer to Matt, causing quite a stir in his heartbeat. He wants her. More than he’s wanted any other girl, and he’s not sure way. He just does.]

M: So, what do you say we… head back to my place?

Matt: YES! [He quickly realizes that he sounds way too excited] I mean, yea, that’d be sweet.

E and A: Yes! [Their “dates” seem about as hypnotized as Matt feels]

M: Sounds good [She kisses Matt’s ear, he quickens his pace in response] Mmmm, someone’s excited.

Matt: Uh, well it’s not often a guy walks down the street and meets such a lovely woman.

M: Nice lines, been rehearsing

Matt: Uh… [Embarrassed he begins to mumble, trying to find a response]

M: No worries, they are serving you well [She leans into him more as they walk on]

[Back at the house]

[Upon reaching M’s home, they all partake in shots of every variety: Whiskey, Tequila, Vodka, etc. The men become increasingly drunk, as the girls pretend that they are. Each girl takes her victim to a separate room. Once in their room M and Matt get comfortable on the bed. They begin to kiss more and more aggressively, which eventually turns into sex. They spend hours together until he passes out.]

[It’s the next morning. Matt wakes up in a daze. He can’t remember what happened at all the night before after meeting M. For a brief moment he is proud, until he sees her beaten and bruised, crying in the corner.]

Matt: What happened to you?

M: Excuse me? You happened to me! You did this to me, I didn’t want to have sex, but you made me and beat me when I would comply! I have the cops on the other end [she reveals her phone] and they are on their way to get you.

Matt: But I’m not like that, I don’t remember doing it!

M: Well you did!!!!

[Not much time passes and the cops come to arrest him. The other guys are nowhere to be found, must have simply had sex and left. A and E look very confused by this strange turn of events. The cops leave with M’s victim and she curls up on her couch. A and E sit down by her to comfort her. But suddenly, now that the cops are gone, she begins to laugh.]

A: M, what did you do?

E: He didn’t do it did he?!

M: Of course he did. If you have sex when you’re drunk, it’s always rape, because the girl isn’t fully aware of it. Shame on him for taking advantage of me when I was drunk.

A: But M, you weren’t drunk.

M: But I was drinking, for all he knew I could’ve been and he still slept with me

E: M, how could you do this. Yea, I like meaningless sex as the next girl, but this is just cruel.

M: Hey, I had to prove to my social work class that once you have any alcohol in your system, it instantly becomes rape!

A: Prove… I don’t understand

[M points to a video camera in the corner of her room.]

E: But, he didn’t beat you, so you have no case.

[M suddenly causes a plate on the table to move through telekinesis. She makes it break midair. She slowly turns her head towards her companions with an evil grin.]

M: I have my ways of making things happen. Trust me, they will see that he beat me up. And I’m going to need my best friends in the whole world to play along. This is for the good of women everywhere. This will stop domestic abuse. It will put away all of the sex offenders away and the world will be a safer place! Sure, someone will have a ruined life who didn’t do anything, but at least everyone else will benefit! And besides, it’s always the guys fault, never the woman’s. Soon The world will be safe [Close up on her evil eyes, then the scene closes]

That Movie Sucked! (50 pts)

Title: The Room 

Author: Tommy Wiseau

Producer: Tommy Wiseau

Date viewed: 2/21/2014

Setting: San Fransisco

Period: Current

Genre: Drama

Plot: not good

Characters: not good

Dialogue: awful

Structure: awful

Commercial appeal:not good

Worth a watch just to say you have, so I half-heartedly recommend it

Logline: A man slowly falls into depression as it becomes clear his love and his best friend are having an affair behind his back.

Summary: Tommy is a hard working man named Johnny who dotes heavily on his girlfriend, Lisa. While to his face she reciprocates, behind his back Lisa cheats with his best friend, lies and tells basically the world she hates him. Lisa is not happy with her relationship with Johnny, even though he would do anything and everything for her. On a daily basis, he buys her gifts (such as flowers and a dress) and just is very loving (in his own, awkward way). On an overly consistent basis, she tries to explain to her mother that he is boring and she does not love him anymore. Her mother tries to talk her down, truly not understanding her daughters disgust in this man. In the meantime, she quite consistently has his best friend Mark over, whom she seduces (quite awkwardly I might add) and sleeps with him. The completely hilarious and poorly written part about this is while it happens pretty much every time they are together, he still seems confused as it is beginning. As before stated, she tries to be loving to his face, and once night gets him very drunk to help get his mind off of not getting a promotion at work. Next time her mother is over, she uses this story of his drinking and lies and tells her mother that he is abusive to her, which he shortly after hears about. After some time, he confronts her about her lies. I mean, there is obviously much talking this couple needs to do. This woman is just mean too, because in her boredom she decides to tell Johnny that she is pregnant, and later explains to her friends that she isn't and why she did it. Johnny starts putting two and two together that Lisa and Mark are having an affair, but plays it pretty cool. At a birthday party for him, he confronts them both and tells them that he knows, and the two men begin to fight each other. He tells everyone to leave and locks himself into their bedroom's bathroom. While he is in there, Lisa calls Mark and tries to set up another rendevous. Johnny comes out of the bathroom when she leaves and begins to have a mental breakdown. He tears up the entire house, and then he ultimately kills himself. Mark and Lisa find him dead by gunshot wound out the back of his head. Lisa tries to smooth things over, but both Mark and Denny (who enters later) both tell her off, so nobody wins. 

It is very clear that our writer tried. It is just safe to say that he is a bit out of touch with reality. There are so many things wrong even just socially among the characters, the plot line, the delivery. It is just bad, and this is why! This movie has some of the worst acting I think I have ever seen. For starters, why are the guys always just awkwardly throwing a football around in several scenes, and I mean one scene they are doing it in tuxedos. Not all guys are obsessed with football, and the ones who are know that they are nowhere near being correct with any sort of football rule. The dialogue does not help much either. There are just very awkward conversations. For instance, Johnny asks Mark how his sex life is. I'm pretty sure men don't do that, but maybe I'm wrong. The flow of conversation is just incredibly forced at all times. When Johnny first reacts to hearing the lies of his "abuse", he is shouting and complaining, and the delivery of the line is just bizarre, and is met immediately by a calm awareness of Mark being on the roof top as well. The sequence in which Johnny confronts Lisa, he shouts "you are tearing me apart Lisa!", and not even a minute later (I think at least, but it's a very brief time) he tells her he still loves it and it's okay... He is very calmed down at this point. Lisa's mother, as Lisa explains that he hit her because he was drinking reacts with "Johnny doesn't drink". Ok, be that as is may, most mothers would at least react in disgust that someone hit their child, drunk or not. She, had she been written well, would have more than likely I felt like I was watching one of my old play performances where I was still finding my niche in acting, so everything seemed forced. While the plot could have passed as a garden variety drama, it's just so poorly written and structured. For instance, at the birthday party when Lisa sends everyone outside so that she can fool around with Mark... WHO RISKS CHEATING IN SUCH PROXIMITY TO THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER! Cheating isn't good, but my gosh are you an idiot? It raises the question, did Tommy Wiseau date someone just awful like that and decide to make a movie about the way he didn't react to the situation? The characters are just awkward. I'm going to use Denny as an example. He is the neighbor kid, who is just bizarre. He follows the couple up to their bedroom because he wants to watch. He asks awkward questions like "can I kiss you" to Lisa. It's just really strange, and he serves no real purpose to the story. Lisa's mother is really unnecessary too. Aside from being Lisa's confident and Johnny's number one fan, she just doesn't really serve a purpose. Actually to be fair, only three people (Johnny, Mark and Lisa) really have any point, It could have been written just between the three of them. It's hilarious though. The settings are just faulty. There are several sequences on the roof of the apartment building, which is clearly a set and an obvious fake background. I'm pretty sure it's a green screen, because there is a fuzzy outline of the people every time they are up there. Johnny's meltdown before he kills himself is even weird. It is almost like watching a kid through a temper tantrum, minus 50% of the passion. Have I mentioned how awful Lisa is. She finds him dead with Mark, and immediately tries to say that they are free to be together... Like are you a heartless bitch? Sure you may have been bored and wanted to move on, but aren't you the least bit heart broken that someone you care even the slightest for died? Or just out of respect as a human, don't you think death is said? WHAT THE HELL?! In all honesty, the ending is very sad, but just overall it's a mess. So yes, ultimately the movie is supposed to be a drama, but it is so bad it proceeds to become funny as hell. Only watch it if you're going in knowing it's just awfully funny!

This Song Sucks (25 pts)

Friday- Rebecca Black

Listening Framework

(SIMPLIFIED)

Listening Phase 1 (Rhythm)

Source synth and digital drums

Time/Tempo moderato, 4/4 time

Groove the correct words, in regards to it being pop, would be light or fun... but in reality is is just boring

Listening Phase 2 (Arrangement)

Instrumentation there seems to be very easy bass and guitar lines written, and just a simple 4/4 time beat. the chord progression is pretty standard for pop music these days. generally speaking, the drums, despite how boring they are, are what keep the song even slightly interesting. 

Structure/Organization there is a verse, the chorus, another verse, a bridge, a quick rap sequence, chorus twice and then it ends

Emotional Architecture no emotional architecture, there is barely any dynamics!

Listening Phase 3 (Sound Quality)

Balance

-       Height there is really no height at all

-       Width the song is pretty static, it does not sound like there is much stereo panning at all. In other words, it just sounds monotone and unmoving, much like her singing.

-       Depth there is a drumline, simple guitar and bass, and then singing. i don't even think there is harmony in the singing either.

THIS SONG IS BASICALLY JUST A TEENGAGE GIRL WITH NO MUSICAL TALENT TRYING TO GET FAMOUS. SHE DIDN'T PUT ANY LABOR INTO IT, AND IT'S SO SHALLOW ALL OF THE FISHIES IN THE SEE ARE GASPING FOR BREATH JUST LISTENING TO IT. Rant done.

Icon Switch (25 pts)

Hey Jim (Hey Jude, but about Jim Carrey)

Hey Jim, don’t make it bad

Take a bad plot and make it better

Remember to always slip in a fart

Then you can start to make shit better

Hey Jim, don’t be so tame

You were made to be so much crazier

Remember to always make a big scene

Then you begin to make shit better

And anytime you feel insane, you are, s’okay

Don’t feel the need to be dramatic

For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool

And it just starts to make us all sick

Hey Jim, don’t wear a frown

Not unless it adds to the better

Remember give it your best shot

That humor will start to make shit better

So let it out and show that grin, hey Jim begin

You better make a big gut buster

And don’t you know you’re getting judged, hey Jim, don’t budge

Give them all the comedy you can muster.

Hey Jim, don’t make it bad

Take a bad plot and make it better

Remember to always slip in a fart

Then you can start to make shit better

Better better better better better better, oh.

Na na na na na ,na na na, hey Jim...

Dances Moves on Jaeger (Moves Like Jagger, but about Jaeger)

Just shoot for that cup, if it feels right

Then aim it up, if you feel like it

Drink it away, it’ll make it ok, I swear I’ll behave

You wanted control, so you through it

You put on a shot and you made it

You say I’m a kid, we’re drunk as it is, I don’t give a shit

And it goes like this

Sing around the floor and I’ll join you

Drink it all right down and I’ll show you

The dance moves on Jaeger

I got sweet dance moves on Jaeger

I got sweet moooooooooooooooves on Jaeger

There’s no way of controlling you

Blood shot eyes will further prove that

I’ve got sweet moves on Jaeger

I got sweet dances moves on Jaeger

I got sweet mooooooooooooooooves on Jaeger

Baby it’s hard when you feel like

You’ve partied to hard, nothing feels right

But when you’re with me I’ll just make you see, it’s temporary

No, don’t get in that car, cuz you will not

Get very far, you might crash it

You wanna steer, but I’m shifting gears, I’ll park it right here

And it goes like this

Sing around the floor and I’ll join you

Drink it all right down and I’ll show you

The dance moves on Jaeger

I got sweet dance moves on Jaeger

I got sweet moooooooooooooooves on Jaeger

There’s no way of controlling you

Blood shot eyes will further prove that

I’ve got sweet moves on Jaeger

I got sweet dances moves on Jaeger

I got sweet mooooooooooooooooves on Jaeger

You wanna know how to make me smile

Take a sip, give it to me for a while

But if I share drinks yes, you’re gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can drink this

So watch and learn, can’t show you twice

Plug your nose, ooooo baby chug it right

But if I share drinks yes, you’re gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can drink this

And it goes like this

Sing around the floor and I’ll join you

Drink it all right down and I’ll show you

The dance moves on Jaeger

I got sweet dance moves on Jaeger

I got sweet moooooooooooooooves on Jaeger

There’s no way of controlling you

Blood shot eyes will further prove that

I’ve got sweet moves on Jaeger

I got sweet dances moves on Jaeger

I got sweet mooooooooooooooooves on Jaeger

Norma Jean (Billie Jean, but about Marilyn Monroe)

She was truly a beauty queen in the movie scene

She seemed so nice, but deep down she was one

Who would sooner or later be gone.

Yes deep down she was one,

Who would sooner or later be gone.

Her birth name was Norma Jean, and she MADE those scenes

Yes every man dreamed, but deep down she was one

Who would sooner or later be gone.

People always told her, be careful what you do

Don’t go around breaking grown men’s hearts.

And people started worrying that she would push to far.

She wasn’t careful, yes it’s true, because the fame became her doom

Norma Jean was a true treasure

She was just a girl, who couldn’t handle it all

And that lead to her downfall

She couldn’t handle it all, and that lead to her downfall

For many days and for many nights, she was in lime lights

But who can stand all of hollywoods schemes and plans

She would sooner or later be gone

So take this strong advice,

In Hollywood always think twice

She played too loosely with her body, her immunity

Too many men took advantage and claimed “she is mine”

She would sooner or later be gone

People always told her, be careful what you do

Don’t go around breaking grown men’s hearts.

She didn’t much mind and continued to pursue

The life of fame was cruel she didn’t last very long its true

Norma Jean was a true treasure

She was just a girl, who couldn’t handle it all

And that lead to her downfall

She couldn’t handle it all, and that lead to her downfall